it had gotten far ahead
NervousMan felt that somehow
he needed to catch up to it
Was there a way,
NervousMan thought,
to slow down life
long enough for him
to catch up?
NervousMan didn't know.
And while he was thinking
this:
Life inched forward
just a little bit more.
NervousMan had a feeling
vague as it was
that he was looking
for something
except
he couldn't remember
what he had in mind
If only I could remember
what it is I am looking
for
thought NervousMan
Maybe I would stand a
better chance
of finding it
Perhaps
he was looking for
the ocean
with its waves
of salty brine
and gulls
and sunshine
He could almost
feel the cool
water running
over his naked
body
the wet sand
underneath his
back
But there is
no ocean in this
place
NervousMan saw
only sidewalks
and ambulances
and people
who look away
at the last
moment
NervousMan
remembered
someone
somewhere
who was weeping
he couldn't
remember who
exactly
Perhaps it was
him
he thought
to himself
But this was
a strange
thought
which he pushed
from his mind
NervousMan hadn't
cried in a long
long time
longer than he
could remember
Wearily, he walked
on past displays
of astronomy
and cosmology
and pictures
of starfields
and galaxies
For some reason
he began to feel
very very small
as if
in some sense
just beyond his
grasp
he did not even
exist
at all.
It is strange to
think this way
thought NervousMan
and yet
he didn't mind
NervousMan stopped
in front of a picture
of an old lithograph
showing a man poking
his head through
the dome of a fake sky
and looking around
NervousMan could not
see
the cartoon's man's
face
which was in a half
profile
but it must have
been
one of astonishment
and wonder
NervousMan breathed
He is looking for
something
thought NervousMan
this cartoon man
who did not exist
He is looking for
something
And then
from somewhere
very far away
he heard the words
"May I help you?"
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