NervousMan Eats an Apple

NervousMan realized he needed to go to the store and get more items. So many things to do! Go to the store, see Mr. Deedle, cash his check.

NervousMan needed a planner to plan his day.

But where would he write down his plan to get a planner if he didn't have a planner to write it down in?

NervousMan felt nervous.

NervousMan was too nervous to sleep. And NervousMan was hungry. So NervousMan got up from the bed and walked carefully to the kitchen.

"Carefully! Carefully!" NervousMan thought. "So as not to trip on anything I nervously left on the floor!"

Opening the refrigerator NervousMan saw that all he had left inside that he could eat immediately was a half jar of mayonnaise and a red Roman apple. There were other things inside too, but they would require cooking up. And NervousMan was too nervous to do that! He might nervously leave the burner on the stove burning! And then his face would burn up and the fire trucks would come and people would beat NervousMan up!

"I will eat the apple!" thought NervousMan. "That will make me less nervous!"

NervousMan felt the cool skin of the apple in his hand as he shut the refrigerator door carefully and then walked cautiously back to his bed.

"Carefully! Carefully!" thought NervousMan as he made little gasping noises of distress with each step."Or I will trip and fall and hurt myself terribly!"

NervousMan was nervous.

And so NervousMan took his apple and sat on the bed and took a big bite out of it savoring its cool sweetness.

"Mmmmm yummy yummy apple!" said NervousMan aloud his mouth full of apple. "This is mine. This is my apple. My little... red... apple-ly apple". NervousMan smiled and took another bite. "Yummy yummy! Eating the apple!" NervousMan ate more and more and more.

After the apple was nothing more than just a core, NervousMan felt tired and too un-nervous to get up and put it in the garbage. So, NervousMan put the core on his nightstand.

"I will put the apple-ly apple core in the garbage-y garbage laterly later!" NervousMan said to his empty apartment, and chuckled.

"Now I will take a nappy nap!" he said.

Somehow, talking in this silly way made NervousMan less nervous. But what was the harm? There was no one around to make fun of NervousMan for doing so. NervousMan was too nervous to have people in his apartment anyway. He could be silly and do anything he wanted to.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Oh no!" thought NervousMan, suddenly very nervous. "What will I do! I am naked and someone is at the door!"

The knocking happened again, this time more insistent. Someone wanted NervousMan to open the door right away!

"Uhm.... who is it??" said NervousMan, nervously.

From the other side of the door came a mean male voice. "Your downstairs neighbor!" it said.

"Oh no!" thought NervousMan. "What in the world could they want?"

While NervousMan slipped on his bathrobe, the knocking came again.

"I'm... I'm coming!" said NervousMan. "I mean-- I'll be right there!"

"Hurry up, I don't have all day" said the voice.

The neighbor sounded like he must be mean and angry thought NervousMan. But what could NervousMan do? He had to open the door. And he better do it quickly! He didn't even have time to get properly dressed.

NervousMan unlocked his door with a click and then opened it slightly.

"Y-yes?" said NervousMan.

"Yeah. I'm your downstairs neighbor," said the man.

The man looked to be in his 40's and was unshaved. He was wearing dirty jeans and a tshirt that was sleeveless and a bit too small for him. A beer gut poked out from underneath the bottom edge of the tshirt.

"What are you doing?" said the man pointedly. He looked right at NervousMan.

"Uh... what?" said NervousMan.

"You heard me. What are you doing?"

"I uh, I'm taking a nap".

"You're, uh, you're taking a nap," said the man mockingly.

NervousMan felt nervous. Was the man going to beat him up?

"We're sitting outside and you know that even though your blind is drawn, you've got your window open and we can hear everything you're saying down there?"

"OH NO!" Thought NervousMan. Suddenly he was mortified.

NervousMan looked away from the man, his face distressed and anxious and flushed with shame. Then NervousMan looked at the ground.

"Uh... I... I was... uh..." NervousMan said.

"Yeah, you're 'uh... ahhh... uh' alright. Listen you little freak. I don't like the looks of you! Standing there with your eyes darting around in your dirty bathrobe. Talking out your window about being naked and eating 'appley apples' and whatnot. What have you got going on in there?"

The man narrowed his eyes and looked over NervousMan's shoulder into the darkness of NervousMan's apartment.

Unconsciously, NervousMan moved the door a little bit more toward being closed.

"Probably doing some sort of weird sick nasty things in there," said the neighbor, grimacing disgustedly. "Don't let me hear you in here going through your pre-versions you twisted little freak!".

"Oh uh... I was just probably having a dream or something" NervousMan said and looked at his feet.

"Having a dream. Yeah, I'll bet. Sleeping in the middle of the day. When other good and decent hard-working people are at work trying to feed their families. Either way, I don't like the looks of you. So you'd better watch it!"

NervousMan was very nervous!

"Oh--okay. I'll be more careful," said NervousMan.

Maybe if he were nice, the mean man would go away!

"I'm sorry," said NervousMan.

"All right. That's more like it," said the man and walked away shaking his head in disbelief, but not before giving NervousMan a studious and supicious glare.

NervousMan closed the door and gulped.

NervousMan was nervous.