NervousMan Goes to the Store

NervousMan walked through the aisles of the local supermarket, not quite sure what he was looking for.

In the produce section, NervousMan looked at all the bright colors and held his breath without realizing he was doing so. He could feel the cool air of the refrigeration on his skin.

NervousMan felt light-headed.

They were having a sale on strawberries. Two bushels for three dollars. NervousMan put one in his cart. NervousMan liked strawberries. He also needed to get some salad, and some milk and some bread.

The aisles of the store, NervousMan thought, were very close together. Sometimes he would reverse his direction and go to another aisle if someone were in the aisle that he wanted to go down. NervousMan didn't want to make anyone else nervous with his nervousness. That would make NervousMan even more nervous and NervousMan already was.

Sweat rolled into his NervousMan's eyes and he thought to himself "It seems like they are all looking at me. Logically, I know that they are not. But it feels like they are".

NervousMan was nervous.

"Where are the eggs?" NervousMan thought to himself as he looked around.

Walking on, NervousMan imagined what it would be like if the store were being looted and all these people around him were rushing about and not getting out of anyone's way. Like, if there was some sort of emergency in the world and things in general broke down. Like the bridge had.

Then, NervousMan thought, if that happened, the mean people would come and get all the strawberries and things like that first. They might even beat up NervousMan. How could NervousMan ask the mean people for strawberries after the looting? They would laugh at NervousMan and beat him up again.

The thought of being beat up by the mean people made NervousMan nervous. So NervousMan tried not to think about it. But in order not to think about it, he had to first think about not thinking about it, and that meant thinking about it.

NervousMan sighed.

NervousMan found himself in an aisle staring at the canned beets. NervousMan looked at the nutritional information table on the one of the cans and blinked.

Did NervousMan want canned beets? How much were they compared to the canned corn? Which was a better value? Which was better for you?

So many questions. How could NervousMan figure this all out? Why was it so hard for NervousMan to figure out if he wanted canned beets or not? Other people around him did not seem to have that trouble. They just walked in to the store, got what they wanted and walked out. What was the problem? What was wrong with NervousMan?

NervousMan was nervous.

Glancing to his right, NervousMan watched a woman in a green apron stocking shelves very quickly. "She sure seems to think fast" thought NervousMan.

NervousMan looked back at the canned beets and regarded them.

At the checkout counter, NervousMan nervously put his items onto the conveyer belt. The checkout person was a good looking young man with a very clear skin and a light and short dark beard running along his jaw. The man did not seem nervous at all.

"Hey man. How's it going?" said the man, taking NervousMan's canned beets.

"Fine, thank you" said NervousMan, forcing himself to smile slightly but looking in the direction, but slightly away, from the checkout's man eyes. He seemed to remember reading somewhere that smiling at other people put them at ease, and also looking at them too.

"If my eyes are nervous, and I am smiling, I look weird", thought NervousMan. And he looked down, nervously.

NervousMan stared at the canned beets as the man fed them through the laser scanner.

"I should look at them and smile pleasantly," thought NervousMan. And he wondered if he should look back at the checkout man and say something pleasant. He could say something corny, like talking about the weather. But the thought of looking or being corny made NervousMan nervous.

NervousMan slid his card through the reader, his hands shaking ever so slightly.

The checkout man said something to him.

"Eh--Excuse me?" said NervousMan.

"Paper or plastic?" the checkout man asked NervousMan again, smiling pleasantly.

"Oh... Uhm... plastic please" NervousMan said.

NervousMan always said please and thank you.

When NervousMan's groceries were bagged he told the checkout man 'thank you' yet again.

"Sure man, take care," the checkout man said and he smiled at NervousMan again.

It seemed like the checkout man was thinking something about NervousMan but NervousMan did not know what that something was. Maybe it was something pleasant.

Then, without meaning to, as he reached out to take the bags from the checkout man's hand, NervousMan's thumb briefly touched the back of the checkout's man's fingers. The checkout man released the bags into NervousMan's grasp. Then without a word, the man turned to help the next customer.

Later, as NervousMan walked home, he felt the cool air of the rapidly approaching night on his arms and neck. And yet NervousMan sweated and felt hot. NervousMan needed a shower.

"That man at the checkout counter was nice," thought NervousMan. "Much nicer that the mean waiter".


As Nervousman ate his strawberries at home, he thought it was nice that there were nice people in the world. People who were nice, and not mean. People like the checkout man.

And thinking this thought made NervousMan feel a little less nervous.

NervousMan turned his covers down and got into bed.

NervousMan thought: "As the world becomes a meaner place, with more and more mean people in it, then must I too become meaner in order not to fall victim to it? Would that not just make the world meaner if I did that?"

Perhaps, Nervousman thought, the thing is to love, as much as one can, in the face of fear. To hold onto one's heart. Maybe that is the greatest challenge,

And then, thinking these thoughts, NervousMan fell asleep at the end of a busy day